Wednesday, October 13, 2010
10 things men would like women to know
Constitute a marriage that works: rekindle the flame of romance through affection, warmth and encouragement
The fact that God did not make women and men the same, this is probably not new to you. We all know some of these differences, but others are hidden behind the obvious. Shaunti Feldhahn, a nationally known journalist, author and speaker, recently wrote a fantastic book. Only for women: All you need to know about the inner life of men. (For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men). In this book, she relates the surprising truths learned from the 1000 men she interviewed. Recently I had the opportunity to interview Shaunti for our radio program, Home Word (Word House) with Jim Burns. During our conversation, we talked about 10 things that women want to know about men. I think you will find this fascinating 10 points! Even more, I think that knowing these things, you'll be equipped to lead your marriage to a new haven!
1. Men prefer to feel unloved and not respected rather useless. Husbands need to know that their wives respect them both privately and publicly. The men are doing well when they know that their wives have confidence in them, they admire and believe in them. Research by Shaunti Feldhahn, indicated that men would rather lose the love of their wives as their respect.
2. The anger of a man is often due to lack of respect for his wife. When a man is angry with his wife, he will say probably not "you lack respect for me." But chances are he was injured by something his wife did and he considers disrespectful and humiliating.
3. Men are insecure. They are afraid not to be equal in life - not only at work but also at home in their roles as spouses. They probably will not say never, but inwardly they are secretly vulnerable. The antidote? Be recognized. For men, being recognized by their wives and the most important. If they are not, they seek recognition elsewhere. Regularly when they experience a real appreciation from their wives (and not flattery), they are more assured and confident in every area of their lives.
4. Men are responsible for one who provides for the family. Intellectually, the salary of a man of little importance, as does a woman's salary is more or less important in his career. Men are simply the responsibility of the person who appealed for the family. They have not chosen, they are born with. This concept is still present in their minds and can create the feeling of being trapped. Women can not get rid of this liability, may nevertheless make it less burdensome by therapeutic doses of appreciation, encouragement and support to their spouses.
5. Men want more sex. The natural reaction of all in this declaration is "No kidding." But this reaction is probably unfounded. Generally, we think that men want more sex with their wives because of their biological constitution (their needs). But surprisingly, the study shows that Ms. Feldman's why men want more sex is that they have a great need to be desired by their wives. They just need to be desired. Regular relations are paramount and flourished for a man to feel loved and wanted.
6. Sex means more than sex. When a man is wanted by his wife, that feeling has an effect on the rest of his life. This gives a greater sense of confidence and well being which extends to all areas of his life. On the other hand, any failure can have a negative effect. When a man feels rejected sexually, he feels not only physically rejected by his wife, but it calls into question the title of husband as breadwinner and man. That's why sex for a married couple are paramount!
7. Men struggle with visual temptation. This means that a large majority of men respond to images when it comes to women. This is not just men with eyes that wander. Even the most believing husbands, can not help but notice a woman whose attire attracts attention to her curves. Although this is a furtive glance, the images are stored in the male mind and he come back to mind without warning. Men can choose to dwell on these images and memories or ignore them, but they can not control when they arrive.
8. Men enjoy romance, but do not feel good at this. It is true that men can not seem to be romantic, but that does not mean they want to be like that. Men want to be romantic, but they do not believe can be. They are assailed by doubts, the risk of humiliation and the risk of failure. Women can greatly enhance the confidence of their husbands in this area through incentives and defining what romanticism. For example, a woman may be reluctant to follow her husband into a hardware store, but if he seeks his company because he sees an opportunity to escape and do something with it. Can not find it romantic?
9. Men interested in the physical appearance of their wives. This does not mean that all men want their women look like supermodels. What men want is that their wives make an effort to take care of themselves (and do not let themselves go) because it's important for them (men!). Husbands appreciate the efforts of their wives to stay attractive.
10. Men want their women to know how much they love them. It was the # 1 answer given by men. They do not have the confidence to say, but they truly love their wives. Men want to show they love their wives as they want and understand.